What’s the Funniest Thing You’ve Ever Seen in a D&D Game?

Tomorrow on Wandering DMs we’ll be discussing “Humor in D&D”, so I thought I’d do a quick bit of research and ask you dear readers, what is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen in a D&D game? I’ll start with a couple of my own anecdotes.

The first thing that comes to mind is what I think of as the cleverest means I’ve ever seen of a player escaping a purple worm. Matt was playing an elven magic user, and found himself swallowed whole by a massive purple worm. Not playing a buff fighter able to cut his way out, he instead started looking for a cleverer way out. He began with up-ending his bottle of endless water. “OK,” I said, “now you’re in the digestive track of a purple worm and it’s completely filled with water. The worm appears to become somewhat bloated as it continues to attack the party, and you realize you now are in the more immediate danger of drowning rather than being slowly digested.”

“I swim as far as I can go to the back end of the worm. What do I see?” Matt asked me. “Um,” I quickly wracked by brain for what the internal organs of a worm might be, “I guess it ends in a tightly clenched sphincter.” Matt, very quick on his feet, responded “I cast knock.” It was pretty difficult to describe the visuals of a jet of water ejecting a scrawny elven magic user from the anus of a massive purple worm through the hoots of laughter.

More recently, one of our viewers caught a wonderful moment of humor on my birthday livecast. Here’s the set-up: Max, playing “Henrod the Handsome” is an elven thief/magic-user in a party comprised of all elves. Having obtained a pair of boots of levitation, he has started acting as the party’s scout, using the boots to walk around on the ceiling and his thief abilities to move silently. He came across a cage containing an imprisoned dwarf, who begged him to be set free. Here’s the result:

How about you? What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen happen in D&D? Please share with me your best stories!

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3 Comments

  1. Most of my funny gaming stories you already know, since you were either present or nearby for most of them. The “Tube of Horrors” incident. The “Yogund’s Pants” incident. The drunken vampire hunt the party went on after closing down The Rusty Bucket for the night. Lots of gems.

    One thing I might remind you of, though, was the quotable quotes lists you kept from both the Wardicon and Treague campaigns. Even wildly out of context a lot of that stuff is funny. Maybe you could dig those up.

    Some favorite lines that still stick with me:

    “It’s medieval Knievel!”

    “She seemed so excited…” (Isabelle’s character commenting on a young elf character (who got on a lot of the party’s nerves) being sold to the circus.)

    “Meow! Meow I say!”

    “He comes from *Hell* you idiots!” (Upon trying to catch a demon with a Fire Trap spell.)

  2. I asked my table this question tonight:

    1) Lobberknot the goblin henchman. If you ever mentioned potatoes, he would kill someone by shivving them with a potato peeler.

    2) the time the Druid got amnesia and thought he was a woman. He played cross at the table and away – total shoot, like method acting – for three sessions and never broke character during the whole time we were together.

    And then he died wearing a dress.

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